(Insert random quotes that I found here.)

I’m going to insert my foreign object into your USB port, and install my drivers. ~me

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“Nice shirt.” “Thanks! I got it at Staples.” ~ninjamaster8

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(We had a fire drill, and I was standing outside facing away from the sun)
“My pants are warm.”~me

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I got in a fight with a colored man, and I lost.~ninjamaster8
(my friend was in class, and this one kid drew all over his hand, and then wiped it all over my friend’s hand)